Three Rules When Golfing With President Trump

Ever been invited to play golf with a U.S. President? It comes with a whole new set of rules. It isn't like a round with your normal foursome. And, when that President is Donald J. Trump, it's all about Making America Golf Again. Here are three things to remember when you hit the course with 45/47. Most importantly, "IT'S GONNA BE HUGE!"

1. The Fairway is Always Red (Even If It’s Blue)

No matter where your ball lands, it’s “the best shot, maybe ever—everyone’s saying it.” If your drive hooks left, just claim it’s part of a bipartisan approach. But don’t be surprised if the fairway suddenly gets gerrymandered in your favor. The other guys in your foursome don't agree, Voter Fraud. 

2. Watch Out for Executive Orders on the Green

Forget local rules—Trump brings his own. Out of bounds? “That’s fake news.” Water hazard? “Build a wall.” If you’re not careful, you’ll find your ball “recounted” onto the fairway. Just nod, smile, and putt like your citizenship depends on it.

3. The Cabinet Shuffle (a.k.a. Replacing Your Ball)

Lost your ball? No problem—just appoint a new one. Trump’s foursome is known for sudden “Cabinet shuffles,” so if your Titleist mysteriously becomes a Top Flite, that’s just a lateral move. Bonus points for blaming the caddie and denying all knowledge in the post-round interview.